Boys Will Be Human
Justin Baldoni's message to the next generation
Greetings Fellow Humans,
Last week, we shared an excerpt from Justin Baldoni’s Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity alongside his insightful appearance on the Soul Boom podcast. This week, we’re continuing the conversation with a focus on the next generation.
A big idea Justin mentioned in his conversation with Rainn, was that if we want a world where women are safe around men, men need to feel safe with themselves. And for that to happen, we’d better start communicating a healthier sense of self and identity to boys at much younger ages.
That’s why we’re excited to bring you a brief but mighty excerpt from Boys Will Be Human. Aimed at boys ages 11 and up, this real-talk, self-esteem-building guidebook helps young men embrace their feelings and fears instead of repressing them. Justin breaks down the pressures of growing up with humor, vulnerability, and a message of self-acceptance, offering a new definition of what it means to be "enough."
Just like in Man Enough, Justin continues to question societal expectations of masculinity, but this time, he's speaking directly to older boys and teens, encouraging them to redefine what it means to be human—and to be themselves.
We hope you will share this excerpt with the young men in your life who, like you, are seeking to realize their truest selves.
The Soul Boom Team
Excerpts from Boys Will Be Human
By Justin Baldoni
Hey! I’m Justin. Nice to meet you, my friend. Okay, well, obviously we’re not really meeting, and we aren’t really friends yet, but since you’ve chosen to pick up this book, I do hope it will feel like we are.
Since the most important thing in any friendship is trust, I should tell you a few things about myself. Trust is what every great and healthy relationship is built on... So, here is a little about me to get us started:
I’m an actor, probably best known for being on Jane the Virgin. I’m a director (Five Feet Apart and Clouds are two of the movies I’ve made) and I started a movie studio called Wayfarer Studios, where we aspire to make movies and TV that help us remember that we are human and that we are all far more alike than we are different... I’d like to think I am way more than my career accomplishments (even though that’s what the world places the most value on).
I LOVE food... Pizza, pasta, sushi, BBQ, tacos… And my favorite part about any food is the sauce that goes on that food... I think my restaurant would probably be called Sauce.
I also love sports, traveling, reading, working out, and biohacking (you probably have no idea what that is, but that’s okay).
I’m a dad to my two incredible and wild kids, Maiya and Maxwell, and a husband to my amazing wife Emily, who I am madly in love with. I would do anything for them. They are my everything.
I wrote this book for boys and anyone who loves them, but don’t worry, this is not a boy-hating, we must apologize for being born type of book. In fact, it’s the opposite! It’s a boy loving, we have the power to change
the world book.
I’m Bahá’í (that’s my faith), but this is not a Bahá’í book by any means... Bahá’ís believe in the unity of all religions, like all the religions are different chapters in one book... My faith has always been a lighthouse in the darkness for me, guiding me and helping me remember that each of us can change the world through acts of service, love, and compassion...
Now that we have gotten the get-to-know-me part out of the way, you may have noticed one of the things I didn’t list was being an author. That’s because I’m still getting used to it... See, when I was growing up, I never thought I was smart enough or good enough to become a writer... But I am going to own it now because you are reading this book, which means I did it! I am an author...
Now that you know a little more about me, I’m going to confess something—this book isn’t really about me… it’s about you... Boys. Men. Male humans. You get the picture…
This book raises questions about masculinity and looks closely at how the answers to these questions shape who we are... Some of them are about things that will not only make us stronger but happier, too... It’s also about what it means to be enough in every sense of the word.
As for the answers to these questions, well... I’m still trying to figure them out... I love being a man, but that doesn’t mean I know exactly how to become the kind of man I want to be, or that I don’t question how the world tells me I should act as a man. Also, even though I’m now in my thirties, my thoughts and opinions about the world and myself change every day...
No one is perfect. No one has it all figured out (even though social media can make it seem like some do)... So, this is me doing my best to share what I’ve learned on my own journey in hopes that if you’re feeling anything like I did growing up—confused, worried, anxious... then maybe you can see yourself in these words and remember that you aren’t the only one feeling that way...
HOLD ON, JUSTIN... WHAT IS MASCULINITY?
There are a lot of misconceptions about what masculinity is... Masculinity is basically the traits, characteristics, and qualities that men or boys have, or are believed or assumed to have... I believe that boys and men are good: inherently, intrinsically good. That YOU are good... There are so many positive traits and qualities that have been associated with masculinity and being a man that I aspire to embody and live by—traits like being resourceful and accountable, honest and trustworthy, hardworking, loyal, and a present father and husband... But the question then becomes—are these qualities reserved just for boys, or are they for everyone?
For instance, if I asked a random person to name some masculine qualities, they might say things like “strong, hardworking, brave, powerful, focused, competitive, tough.” And if I asked the same person to name some feminine qualities, they might say things like “caring, gentle, emotional, sensitive, nurturing...” But why is there this line drawn in the sand?
Think of it this way: if we were developing a state-of-the-art robot that was going to take over the world and accomplish all our tasks... we’d want it to have all the masculine qualities... But if we wanted to make that robot a human and bring it to life, we would give it all the feminine qualities, right?
Too often the messages of masculinity turn us boys and men (myself included) into robots... Which is why it’s so important to me that we undefine masculinity and embrace ALL the qualities that make us human.
SO WHAT EXACTLY DOES “UNDEFINING MASCULINITY” EVEN MEAN? SOUNDS COMPLICATED.
For me, “undefining masculinity” means questioning the rules of how boys are supposed to behave... There are no real rules, just messages that have been passed down from generation to generation... These messages and unspoken rules don’t just show up in our family. They are EVERYWHERE... Many of them actually hurt us more than help us [like]…Boys don’t ask for help or admit when we’re wrong. We have no insecurities and never back down from a fight... We must always wear an invisible suit of armor…
But armor is heavy. It’s uncomfortable. It not only keeps things out, but it also keeps us locked in... So now I’m taking that armor off, piece by piece. And real talk? I’ve never felt better, freer, or more like the real me.
My only regret was that it took me so long to rip it off... That’s another reason why I wrote this book: to tell you the things I wish someone had told me when I was growing up...
“Undefining masculinity” also means not judging people based on a binary system... Equality doesn’t mean we are all the same. It just means we are all treated the same... Instead, undefining masculinity is a way for you (and for me) to stop being robots and start being humans...
Yep, it’s that simple. Undefining masculinity is basically just creating more room for yourself to become a full and kind human.
Excerpts from Boys Will Be Human by Justin Baldoni. Justin Baldoni is an actor, director, producer, speaker, and entrepreneur who is focused on creating impactful media and entertainment. In Man Enough, he explores how men can embrace vulnerability and emotional openness, challenging outdated notions of what it means to be "man enough." Through his films, podcast, advocacy, and work as co-chairman of Wayfarer Studios, Baldoni seeks to offers a broader vision for personal growth and social change, encouraging people to live authentically and work toward a more compassionate and interconnected world. Find him on social media: @justinbaldoni.
