I really find it hard to see the best in everyone, and to truly believe that everyone is doing the best they know how.
I try to be above my judgement of situations and look at things from a “benefit of the doubt” outlook, but it’s ever so hard.
And in my experience, there are people that knowingly do wrong, and they either know the best but do not do the best, or they do not know the best and never try to learn to do the best.
I often question if this is the my projection onto others of myself and my own failures to do the best that I know, but I know I will find the answers in time.
It's definitely tough to see the best in others when their actions seem to contradict it. Your awareness of this struggle shows you're already on a path of compassion. To paraphrase one very wise soul: To forgive is saintly, but beyond forgiveness is understanding.
They were doing the best they could do. I don’t agree to war. You may not. But damn, I honor those who came before me and sacrificed their lives in the name of what they thought was right. I see my grandfather, step father, and other brothers, in this story. Brave. Full of honor. In forever service. Thank you.
This is really beautiful and I'm happy for you that you were able to understand him with time. My mother was never really able to forgive her father. He went to WWII saw horrible things, was nearly killed. His brother was tasked with "cleaning up" a death camp. Together they became alcoholic and gamblers and not the best husbands or fathers. Though he died when I was very small, I always felt a lot of compassion for them. For all the reasons you lay out. They had no support. No tools. And the things they experienced were among the worst humanity has to offer. I cannot imagine.
Understanding that suffering people make others suffer, I think has helped me move on from a lot of things that might otherwise caused me a lot more suffering. It's easier to not be hurt by things when you can understand that the hurt people try to cause you isn't personal, but rather from a place of their own unresolved pain. And of course, you spare them the compounding pain of your own angst. I hope everyone can someday find the peace you seem to have found.
Love this thoughtful and compassionate reflection. It brings to mind the saying "hurt people hurt people." Maybe, inversely, when we heal we help heal others. Here’s to the healing you’ve found, and to the hope that others can find it too.
I really find it hard to see the best in everyone, and to truly believe that everyone is doing the best they know how.
I try to be above my judgement of situations and look at things from a “benefit of the doubt” outlook, but it’s ever so hard.
And in my experience, there are people that knowingly do wrong, and they either know the best but do not do the best, or they do not know the best and never try to learn to do the best.
I often question if this is the my projection onto others of myself and my own failures to do the best that I know, but I know I will find the answers in time.
It's definitely tough to see the best in others when their actions seem to contradict it. Your awareness of this struggle shows you're already on a path of compassion. To paraphrase one very wise soul: To forgive is saintly, but beyond forgiveness is understanding.
They were doing the best they could do. I don’t agree to war. You may not. But damn, I honor those who came before me and sacrificed their lives in the name of what they thought was right. I see my grandfather, step father, and other brothers, in this story. Brave. Full of honor. In forever service. Thank you.
This is really beautiful and I'm happy for you that you were able to understand him with time. My mother was never really able to forgive her father. He went to WWII saw horrible things, was nearly killed. His brother was tasked with "cleaning up" a death camp. Together they became alcoholic and gamblers and not the best husbands or fathers. Though he died when I was very small, I always felt a lot of compassion for them. For all the reasons you lay out. They had no support. No tools. And the things they experienced were among the worst humanity has to offer. I cannot imagine.
Understanding that suffering people make others suffer, I think has helped me move on from a lot of things that might otherwise caused me a lot more suffering. It's easier to not be hurt by things when you can understand that the hurt people try to cause you isn't personal, but rather from a place of their own unresolved pain. And of course, you spare them the compounding pain of your own angst. I hope everyone can someday find the peace you seem to have found.
Love this thoughtful and compassionate reflection. It brings to mind the saying "hurt people hurt people." Maybe, inversely, when we heal we help heal others. Here’s to the healing you’ve found, and to the hope that others can find it too.
Love these reflections by Jeff.
So glad they are resonating. Thanks for letting us know.