Jeff Kober on Following Our Inner Guidance
"The three of us sat there for the longest time, just looking into each other’s eyes—free, open and alive."
Note from Rainn
Greetings, Soul Pioneers!
In this hectic and disintegrating modern world, it’s easy to lose our balance and find ourselves pulled in a million different directions by all of life’s distractions. It’s easy to feel stuck and unsure of what to do next.
We think to ourselves “don’t just sit there–do something!” Even if that something is just doomscrolling on our phone.
What to do to break the cycle of mindless distraction? The wise 12 step saying Whitney Cummings quoted in our pod last week comes to mind: “Don’t just do something—sit there!”
That’s right, sometimes the best action is no action. Sometimes, before we find the right move we have to first become still. It’s in this context we need practices to center and ground ourselves before we re-engage with the world.
That’s where prayer and meditation come in. They complement each other like peanut butter and chocolate, like salt and pepper. Praying is talking to the Divine. Meditation is listening to it. Together, as dual spiritual practices, they constitute a great mystical back-and-forth conversation between Source and self.
Speaking of meditation, I find the words of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá particularly illuminating:
“It is an axiomatic fact that while you meditate you are speaking with your own spirit… the light breaks forth and the reality is revealed… You cannot apply the name “man” to any being void of this faculty of meditation… Through the faculty of meditation man attains to eternal life; through it he receives the breath of the Holy Spirit—the bestowal of the Spirit is given in reflection and meditation.
The spirit of man is itself informed and strengthened during meditation; through it affairs of which man knew nothing are unfolded before his view… Meditation is the key for opening the doors of mysteries. In that state man abstracts himself: in that state man withdraws himself from all outside objects; in that subjective mood he is immersed in the ocean of spiritual life and can unfold the secrets of things-in-themselves…”
Yet, even with such glorification of meditation as a practice, there is no set form of meditation prescribed in the Bahá’í Teachings. And so, as a Baha’i, I have felt a freedom to look into a variety of forms of contemplative practice—and gosh there are so many to explore. It’s in this spirit of search that I came across Jeff Kober’s perspectives on life, mindfulness, and meditation. Jeff's daily reflections have been a source of profound inspiration and guidance for me since 2014—so much so that it was with delight I wrote the forward to his book, Embracing Bliss.
I think you’ll soon find out why Jeff is such a precious voice. In our modern age, where spiritual practices often veer towards the superficial, Jeff stands as a beacon of authenticity and depth. His blend of Vedic wisdom and practical insights cuts through the noise, offering a path to inner peace and connection with the universe. His words have not only enriched my own journey but have resonated deeply with countless others who seek a deeper, more meaningful existence.
That’s why I am now so happy to share him with you, both in this week’s Soul Boom podcast episode, and also as our guest writer for this edition of the Soul Boom Dispatch.
I hope you enjoy Jeff's guest essay as much as I did. Hopefully we can get Jeff to become a regular contributor to our Soul Boom ecosystem—stay tuned!
With gratitude,
Rainn
Following the Guidance of Nature
By Jeff Kober
One day several years ago, I had some writing to do. It was a Sunday, and my son had a birthday party to attend, which gave me the perfect opportunity to get my work done. I dropped him off at his friend’s house in Hancock Park, then headed to a coffee shop on Larchmont Boulevard. When I arrived, there was one table open. I got my coffee, sat down and opened my notebook.
Before my pen hit the paper, I heard my name. “Jeff, how are you?”
I looked up to see Peter, a man I’d known a little bit for a long time. Our paths crossed every few months, but in 20 years, we’d never really hung out much. Now here he was with his wife, who I’d never met. They looked so happy to see me—I couldn’t help but ask them to join me, even as a voice inside of me repeated, “Please say no, please say no.”
“Of course,” Peter said, “We’d love to!”
I set my pen and paper aside and settled in.
They were having a weekend-long “staycation” in Los Angeles while their 12-year-old son was studying tuba at brass camp. They’d spent some time in Santa Monica and now, their last day together, they were having the Larchmont experience.
For the next hour, Peter and Christie told me the story of their life together, which was really the story of their love affair. Peter was a television director, and he shared some great anecdotes about poorly behaved actors he’d met along the way. Christie had worked as an A&R rep for a major record label, and she told us about traveling through Europe with crazy funk bands and other adventures from her rock ‘n’ roll life. And every once in a while, they would look at each other and say, “Jeff doesn’t want to hear about this. Let’s talk about something else.”
And then, somehow, we would just slide right back into the stories of their lives.
Now, I’d been meditating long enough to know that this was about something, that this was important. I’d put away my writing without a second thought.
Maybe they need to learn how to meditate, I thought, even though I wasn’t a meditation teacher at the time. Everyone needs to know how to meditate.
Then they talked about a health issue Christie was having. I thought, maybe she needs to see our Ayurvedic doctor, Dr. Jay? Something here mattered far more than anything I had planned for the day; and by now I was fascinated and happy to sit there as long as it took.
When Christie got up to use the facilities, I said to Peter, “My God, what a delight she is. And the two of you together…”
Peter smiled and said, “Yeah, she’s really something.”
And then I said, “I’m sitting here watching the two of you fall in love all over again.”
And he looked at me and said, “Really, you see that?” I nodded, yes.
He said, “Because that’s what I feel, too. It’s so clear.”
Christie came back to the table, and Peter told her what I’d said. She agreed; she was having the same experience. And the three of us sat there for the longest time, just looking into each other’s eyes—free, open and alive.
Before they left, I asked Peter to speak at a gathering I was hosting the following Wednesday. He said he’d love to, so we exchanged contact information, hugged goodbye and went back to our lives.
That night, I sent him an email telling him where and when to meet. I didn’t hear back from him, so Tuesday morning, I called. After several rings, a woman picked up the phone.
“Hi, is Peter there?”
And the person said, “Who is this please?”
I said, “Tell him it’s Jeff. He’ll know what it’s about.”
“One moment, please.”
The phone clattered down, and after some time, Christie got on and said, “Is this Jeff?”
“Yes.”
“Jeff from Sunday?”
I said, “Yeah. Jeff.”
And Christie said, “He died. Can you believe it?”
“What?”
“Yesterday morning. We had that thing together on Sunday, and yesterday he went out to walk the dog, and he died!”
We spent the next 45 minutes talking—this woman I’d met just two days before. We talked about Peter, death, love and what it all might mean. She asked me to speak at the memorial service. Of course, I agreed.
I was not a teacher at the time, nor a public speaker. But I showed up and told the story of our experience together. The whole time Christie nodded and pointed at me, telling her family, “This happened. This is what Peter and I had.”
It was clear to me, and I think to everyone there, that this connection was necessary for these souls to be able to continue. Peter couldn’t leave without Christie knowing how much she meant to him, and Christie had to know the truth of what she and Peter shared to help her continue on and raise their child alone.
What was required on my part was to have the sensitivity to keep my mouth closed and listen—to simply witness and reflect what I saw, heard and experienced of the two of them together.
What was needed in that moment, in effect, was an angel. I’m not saying that I was an angel. I’m saying that I got to stand in as one that day. And I was able to follow that request from nature because the voice of spirit within me was so loud that the voice of what I thought I needed didn’t stand a chance.
It was one of the most profound experiences I’ve ever had. It required virtually nothing on my part other than to be present and offer my attention, which, as it turns out, is just about everything. This is what nature wants of us—to be available as expressions of itself and witnesses for itself. And it uses our desires and ideas of what’s supposed to be happening to get us to where consciousness needs us.
Nature said to me, “You really need to do some writing,” so that’s what I set out to do.
Then nature had me where it needed me and made me sensitive enough to feel what must happen so I could let go of what I thought should happen. The result was the best possible outcome for Peter, Christie, nature and for me.
Nature wants to enjoy itself and uplift itself in all ways, at all times, through each of us. When I listen for its quiet voice within, it never fails me. Nature will always show us the next right action, and when we follow its guidance, what we call the miraculous becomes a part of our daily life.
Today I will listen for the voice of guidance that comes from someplace deeper than my thinking. And I will do something that feels in alignment with that guidance, even if it makes no sense to my mind.
Adapted and reprinted with permission from Embracing Bliss: 108 Daily Meditations by Jeff Kober (Red Crow Press, 2022).Jeff Kober is an accomplished actor, photographer and vedic meditation teacher. Jeff's diverse career began with stints as a farmer, factory worker, and carney before he moved to Los Angeles and found his calling in acting. He has had regular roles in notable series like The Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, and NCIS: Los Angeles, and has appeared in numerous films including Sully and Beauty Mark. Kober is also a writer and artist, and has previously penned screenplays and co-authored the book Art That Pays.
